I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
