I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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