Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it's like iHOP with fire
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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