I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
