So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
