almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
