here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize