He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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