dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
