Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
