You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
