bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
