She's JV to your varsity
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
