Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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