Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
