Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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