I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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