Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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