Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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