I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
