Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize