i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
