he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize