I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
