Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
