do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
