I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
