adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
