i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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