You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize