Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize