she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
