i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
