I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
