do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
