my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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