...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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