I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
