So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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