that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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