i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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