I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
His nipple licking is glorious
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