you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
