i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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