Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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