The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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