You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
