a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
