i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
As shirtless as possible
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize