don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
