I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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