so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize