You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She announced her abortion via fbk
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize