she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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