Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
