I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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