considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
