I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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