bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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