Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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