Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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