Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
