before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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