She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
