she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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