I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
