just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
