god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
