it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
