I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
