Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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