How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
