what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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