11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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