So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
